The Suicide Note: Leaving my Legacy

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“Leaving a legacy is about planting trees in a garden you never get to see.  Who lives who dies, who tells your story?”

My mom lives to tell my story..

The story of my leaving without saying goodbye or giving a reason she has never understood. And in life, “We push away what we can never understand, we push away the unimaginable.”

Since my death mom has lost the ability to write and even the ability to fight, she has lost too much. In an effort to tell my story she pours through every photo looking for seeds I might have planted. Her journey through my death leads to a beautiful garden, a secret garden she never dreamed she would find. Come with me through the garden. I will show you what I planted..

The first seed I planted was this tablet. I buried this seed under my mattress. It was the last thing they dug up that night. This seed was destroyed.

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Here is what they did to this seed..image002 (1)

The night of my death there is still life left on my tablet. Soon it will be as dead as I now am. They will try to blame me for the crack but their evidence proves they are dishonest. FullSizeRender (1)You can see from the photo Investigator Adrian Walls took that night that there was no crack YET_DSC0900Even, Detective Meridan does not mention a crack two days later when mom had to sign to have the tablet searched, but he would later on. On that day Meridan asked my mom, “Are you ever going to want to see the photos from your son’s death?” She said no. I am so glad she changed her mind..FullSizeRender (2)Almost a month later Investigator Carl Jones is the first person to mention a cracked screen. 
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Mom is desperate to know what was on my tablet. She sends it off to the top data recovery expert for answers. They tell her they can get data off chips over 90% of the time with the machine. They have seen them go through fire and all kinds of woes, but they have never seen something quite like this. Due to the extent of damage they can retrieve nothing. It looks like this chip went through a war. It is described as having mountains and ridges. It suffered a serious assault. But why? What is it that they are hiding. Its my words and my thoughts and the reason I took my life…image001 (1)Mom is crushed she thinks she will never have her answers until she finds this seed I left by my bed, a piece of paper. This is all the information she has on this seed. No other picture or mention of it in the report. But the entire police report fails to mention the word “suicide note.” There is no mention of whether one was found or not found.. _DSC0776Next I leave a trail of seeds behind leading to my backpack. My brother reports to police that I was “messing with it earlier.” I place it close to my body, because it is significant to me. Mom envisions me praying at the edge of my bed one last time, taking my shoes off, and carefully placing my backpack directly in her path. Whatever is in here I need her to find. But Mom is so distraught after cutting me down, she drops the scissors. And as my face hit the wall, my mom’s heart hit the floor. She fails to notice the seed I planted and how leaving it behind jeopardized me ever receiving the justice I was seeking. There are no pictures of them opening the backpack. And in the last photo when they move my body into the bodybag, my backpack is gone._DSC0774Just so you can see they do search bags…
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I didn’t trust the police. In fact just months prior I spoke about police harassing and intimidating my sick family to a panel of FL legislators. Mom was there as a mold advocate, but I was there as a human rights activist. I spoke about how our freedoms and our rights were violated, and they promised to look into it, they never did.

This only fueled the fire. My sick family just weeks before my death was offered 10,000 for our poisoning and the fraud that was committed. We owed over 50,000 for medical. There was no way out. I knew that now. My entire family was so ill, mom was forced to beg her family for help, the same family who covered up my molestation. We had hit rock bottom.

Justice became my obsession. It was 2014 and I told Mom Trump would never win, but that I wanted him to so badly. I told her “he would be great for our country because noone is in his back pocket.” Now that he is in office and speaking courageously against corruption mom feels that Trump is her platform. The only thing that I left her with before now is my YouTube video history. I must have watched 50 videos about Trump. I wanted him in because I knew he could not be bought or sold.

In my death my words must have been sold. Why would the police go to great lengths to cover all of this up? Mom only finds mention of my backpack in the Medical examiners report. Detective Meridan is reporting to the medical examiner that my brother Tyler told her he was messing with it that day. He told him more than that. He told him he believed something was in there. Meridan does not mention the backpack in his report. FullSizeRender (3)

This is where it gets really weird.. Meridan then tells the Medical Examiner two days after my death that “law enforcement was attempting to locate the backpack.” The same backpack Meridan stepped over when he viewed my body that night. That backpack did not need to be located.
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The report states there are 271 photos. Mom counts them one by one and finds only 270. She believes that only one photo is missing. It takes them 3 days to locate the missing photo. When mom gets it she is confused.

Here is the missing photo. Its called a photo form and it documents the number of photos at the scene. Notice that they don’t fill it in the number of photos taken or did they? Look closely at the last line it seems to repeat itself. Then look at the words in parenthesis and how they slant. Then take a look at how the paper is crumpled up. Ask yourself could this form be altered? Was someone going to great lengths to hide the number of photos? Is this why this photo was missing?_DSC0635

In the original CD mom was given there were 270 photos she was told in the report, this was photo #1.  What is missing is the line that say #OF PHOTOS. From the look of this I am not even aware this is a photo form._DSC0636

Mom knows the laws regarding records. She has been dealing with Collier County Code Enforcement and their corruption as it pertains to records. This is where my mom gets threatened to be criminally charged. She is calling them on their fraud. She knows that it is illegal for records to be missing or altered. It violates FL Sunshine State Laws. She learns the laws on documenting crime scenes and she realizes that this photographer will know it all. She has asked Jeremy Giddens several times to speak to this woman. He is the investigator called in by the mayor, and he has told her she can’t speak with any of the police during the investigation. But my mother has decided it is independence day and her voice will be heard even if it means her being arrested. fs-ch-3-13-728

If what I have already told you is not enough, wait there is more. All the evidence logs are not signed by the evidence custodian nor are they dated. It seems they are going to great lengths to hide my words, and my mama caught them! FullSizeRender (11)

And there is even more. Look at the death certificate no cause of death anywhere. I just found a court document it was determined 7 months after his death. I know my son died by suicide, but I have reason to believe that there was an investigation surrounding his death that I did not even know about because of what he left behind.

My first death certificate they did not state cause of death. I don’t know why they waited 7 months to write in my cause of death.
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Here is a timeline of the night my son died.

2324= 11:24 Medical examiner report has me contacting 911

2324= 11:24 Officer Torres responded to 911 call

2234=11:34 Time pronounced dead on Medical Examiner Report

2338=11:38 Adrian Walls photographer notified by dispatch.took dispatch 13 minutes to call

2340=11:40 Meridan responded as detective. 

0020=12:20 Adrian Walls arrives 55 minutes later (Meridan and Marines are at scene) Walls is the photographer and the nothing can start without her

0029=12:29 Adrian Walls starts photographing the scene one hour and four minutes later after I called police, so what happened to the scene for that hour?

0037=12:37 Photo time stamps says the 1st photo 8 minutes after Walls begins taking photos

0100=1:00 Laura Noel Osborne from medical examiner is contacted 

0107=1:07   Photo time stamp shows gap, no pictures taken for next hour and 20 minutes

****Pictures resume at 2:27 which is 19 minutes after Jared’s body was removed. Wow! 

0120=1:20 Walls is labeling pieces of noose

0147=1:47 Walls is collecting evidence, scissors, cut cable, tablet, charger

0208=2:08 Body removal

0227=2:27 Photo time stamp shows this is when photographing continues

0235=2:35 Photo time stamp shows last photo was taken 27 minutes after they removed body

0257=2:57 Walls cleared the scene 49 minutes after Body was removed

1530=3:30 Cutrona attends autopsy and takes custody of clothing

1548=3:48 Cutrona documents receipt for evidence

1550=3:50 Medical Examiner examination time for autopsy

 

Its Independence Day and I think about freedom, and I think about what is worth fighting for and what is worth dying for. What my mom never realized till now is that my plan was to take my life, but it wasn’t supposed to end there. I told my mom days before I died that I wanted to be Somebody. I would finally be heard. I had a plan. It was a great plan, but maybe too great. My words were powerful, but maybe too powerful. They were honest, but maybe too honest..

That day I went to my closet I needed to be angry. I had to be fueled with fire in my heart to get the job done. I fought with my family that day but I would explain to them later so they understood, they have not understood for almost two years until now. Justice and anger fueled me to take my life. I explained myself to them but they never got to hear my explanation. My mom pressed the police. She got angry, she yelled about my tablet. She had yet to know the rest..It wasn’t time for her to know, she wasn’t ready. To shut her down they blamed her. Saying “ma’am didn’t you have a fight with your son on the day he took his life? Let’s face it ma’am we don’t really know why your son took his life.” Mom hung up the phone and wept bitterly, like she had never wept before. Her cries reached the heavens. “Jared why!!, Jared why would you leave me like this?” She could not understand. She knew me, she knew I would never do this. She knew I loved her. I have watched my mom sink into a deep depression because of this. But today I look down and find my warrior mother fighting for me, her baby, it is what she is good at. She has gotten little sleep. She put all this together in a week’s time. Her love for me shines in all of this.

I ask for prayers for my mom. I ask for one good man or woman to come forward from the Bradenton Police and tell my mom what was on my tablet, that piece of paper, and what was inside that backpack. My mom has already written to the Bradenton Police and has forgiven anyone involved. She only wants answers and peace, and peace will come through my words….

Jared’s brain will be going to Werner Spitz a famous toxicologist so he can see if Jared like the myself and my two children have brain injury from mold. Please pray for my family. Dear Lord, protect us. Dear Friend, especially warriors I need you.. I need you badly right now. I got this up this up one 1 minute after 4th of July..

Hi Tech Air Solutions Testimonies

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Article written by   Natalie Laraba  
Did you know the EPA has ranked Indoor Air Quality (IAQ) as one of the Top 5 Environmental Dangers? Since most people spend 90% of their time indoors, and even more for the chronically ill, we are at higher risk for complications from exposure to polluted air. Mold, formaldehyde, bacteria, viruses, VOC’s, household cleaning products and more are constantly contaminating the air we breathe!

So what can be done to help? Many mold injured people have found a new technology that is helping them breathe cleaner air. Hi Tech Air Solutions uses UVC germicidal lamps and proprietary reactor pads to eradicate contaminates at the molecular level. It does not collect mold like a HEPA filter does and it doesn’t kill mold, it destroys it completely. I had tried all different types of HEPA filters before we found Hi Tech Air. Below is a sample of test results and comments from other mold sick people and how they feel they have benefited.

In one poll on a FB group, 27 people responded that they have been helped by the air reactors, while only 4 people felt they had not benefited. Below are the areas that people who responded to the poll feel the Hi Tech Air has been the most helpful with the number of responses to each symptom listed.

Less fatigue (16)

Enhanced mood (14)

Less Brain Fog (13)

Easier to Breathe (10)

Less Dizziness (9)

Better Linier Thinking (6)

Cats Seem Healthier (6)

Clearer Sinuses (5)

Better Recovery From Exercise (5)

No pain in Joints (3)

Eliminating Scalp Fungus (1)

The following are testimonies from real people who have used the Air Reactors:

“Of all the tools in my toolbox I am most grateful for my Hi Tech. Before Hi Tech I was forced to smell mold, VOC’s, chemicals and it made life unpleasant. This machine took the smell out of the air even the cat litter box smell!! We noticed we had more oxygen and increased energy, and it reduced our overall level of exposure. I was always a fan of air purifiers but they did not compare to this machine in the end. It has made life far more bearable for us. The world is toxic but I feel Hi Tech is kind of like my shield and my protector against all that is toxic! I am a proud techie!!” Kelli

“I am finally breathing clean air and do not have to wear a respirator!!I I set them up, husband and I went outside to play, came back four hours later and FRESH AIR!! And my cats are up playing instead of laying around like they are on death’s door!! Love this tech!!”Rene

“I wanted and needed to hit the mycotoxin problem head on….the Hi Tech air machine did this for me. I was so happy with my results that I wanted to share with others. I am not a sales rep and we remediated our home several times.” – Emily

“I am a recovering Chronic Inflammatory Response Syndrome (CIRS) patient, and the Hi Tech machines have been a crucial piece of my recovery. When we first tested our home with Mycometrics testing, our ERMI was a 6, and 2-HERTSMI an 8, with the highest counts being in the Claudosporium family, and a Stachy count of less than one, which was all too high for a CIRS patient. We hired a renowned home inspector, and he concluded that the source of our issue was an unsealed sump pit in the basement that was located right next to our basement and main floor HVAC unit. We also had construction dust in our HVAC and ducting. Combined, this was creating a biotoxin weapon, essentially, as the HVAC was pulling these through the air and distributing throughout the house. The inspector recommended that we seal our sump pit, clean our HVAC and ducting, and use hi-grade filters.

However before beginning that work, which was going to cost us around $8K, we decided to hold off on all remediation tasks and instead purchase 3 Hi Tech 101 machines, run them for 7 weeks, and do pre and post testing to confirm our findings. We were pleasantly surprised with the incredible drop in our testing scores (our ERMI was -0.84 and 2-HERTSMI a 0!), and (as a bonus) that my own blood-based TGF-beta1 testing had dropped from 25,000 to 13,670 (almost cut in half)!

We have since completed remediation (to ensure the cleanest environment possible) and have run our Hi Techs now for almost a year. We plan to do another before and after testing series in June to see how the remediation work and the Hi Techs together have been working. However, we can tell the machines are a powerful piece of my health puzzle, as I continue to have a clear mind, clearer lymphatic system, excellent energy and stamina, reduction in pain, and I edge closer and closer to recovery with a clean environment and the treatment of an amazing CIRS-educated integrative doctor.” – Ally

“My mold count was off the charts 45 and now 22. I got more machines as we still have a mold source. I don’t want to remediate right now….. I will be retesting next month. My house feels and smells totally different. Everyone acts better, fatigue with everyone is so much better… I have 5 machines that is how much I love them and will be taking 3 too when I move and get married. These machines saved me and my family health and money!!!!!!”Jeannine 

“Since using the Hi Tech Air Reactor for about 2-3 weeks the baby’s cough and sneezing has stopped , sleep is better, etc.” – Denise

“Boy it sure has worked for us I wouldn’t be without it!” – Greg

These are just a small sample of people who have benefited from Hi Tech. This technology is being used around the country in colleges, high schools, wrestling programs, animal shelters, hospitals, residential homes and more providing cleaner and safer indoor environments.

The Hi Tech Semi-Annual Spring Sale is going on now with 10% off all air reactors. If you or someone you know can benefit from this technology please share this with them! Hi Tech offers a 30-day money back guarantee and also an extended mold testing protocol money back guarantee! You do not have anything to lose by trying it! If you have any questions, need more information or are looking to invest in your health, feel free to comment here or contact me.

Natalie

nataliel@hitechairsolutions.com

Ray Dehghan, I AM Somebody

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Ray Dehghan is a determined advocate for Environmental Health, and before he became extremely ill he was a public servant. He recently started the Facebook group called Environmental Health Awareness, it has over 1,300 members. Members include those suffering with this illness. Yet he also has led high ranking federal officials, top journalists, leading human right’s activists, various politicians, and even renowned athletes, as he seeks to raise awareness on this major issue confronting our society. Ray has reached out to so many on this issue and he needs our help to obtain detached housing so he can regain his health and get back to work.

Ray moved into a residential health care facility in Aurora Chicago 1.5 years ago. Since this time he has been seeking help for the excessive cigarette smoke that is filtering into his apartment and causing him severe symptoms. This is against Illinois state law and against federal regulations. Ray’s health has been severely impacted by his poor indoor air quality and he is suffering with numerous medical conditions due to a condition called MCS, or Multiple Chemical Sensitivity. Since moving into this apartment Ray has been hospitalized 8 times. He has numerous letters from Doctors that tell the story of how this exposure and his poor indoor air quality is directly attributing to his poor health.

On December 13, Ray went before the Kane County Board for the 9th time. So far his efforts to obtain detached housing have been futile. Ray has chest pains, body aches, breathing issues, insomnia, and his Dr has written that the environmental exposures are triggering his Bipolar to become more frequent and more severe. “Research has demonstrated that smoking is correlated with more severe mood symptoms in BD, including more severe symptoms of depression, rapid cycling, greater overall illness severity, and increased likelihood of suicidal ideation and behavior.”  Research Study Link

Ray’s IGE levels are 500 percent above normal and his Dr states this is due to his exposure. Ray is doing all he can to stay alive, despite his numerous and serious health issues, both physical and mental in nature.

Ray has numerous letters from professionals who agree he needs help, and many have even stated that they visited his apartment and that the smell of smoke is overpowering for them and they are healthy.

I pray that Ray is able to get the detached housing that he desperately needs to improve his health.  Many of us in the Mold Community are also concerned that toxic mold may be present in his apartment as his symptoms are so severe and Ray believes his apartment may have mold. Ray is currently spending all of his funds on supplements and air filters. He has told me numerous times that he is afraid that he will die if he can’t get out.

Ray is somebody, we all are somebody, we all deserve to live in a home that does not make us sick. Please watch Ray speaking to the board of Kane County Illinois about his serious health issues and the illegal smoking.  At the 1:25 minute mark you can see Ray standing up and being Somebody! One thing I can say about Ray is he has Ray has great determination and that will win the race in the end. Don’t ever give up Ray, and remember you are Somebody!

Kim Dinehart, I AM Somebody

13701059_584342121744208_6528273361595652670_oMy friend and sister in Christ Kim Dinehart battled and beat incurable bone cancer at age 17. The Mayo Clinic tried an experimental surgery,  replacing the bone in her knee with a titanium rod; it saved her life. This month she developed septic shock. Her titanium rod developed a deadly staph infection, and she was rushed to emergency surgery. The infection  traveled to her blood, but she fought and she survived this ordeal. They let her go home on IV antibiotics and she knew she had to be careful in the days ahead. Kim only days later developed another infection, and was bleeding from her mouth and her nose. Her platelet count dropped to zero, she was given IVIG transfusions, and she is pushing through like the fighter she is.

Kim and her kids like many Moldies can’t be exposed to cross contamination. It can be hard for others to understand just how much cross contamination can be deadly to people with mold illness. When immune compromised like Kim and her children, its a very serious and scary situation. Kim has just moved to a healthy environment and is trying to start over again after a major mold exposure. While Kim is recovering her son is placed on oxygen and has developed croup and her other son complains that his throat feels like its closing. We all know how horribly scary it can be when we become this sick or worse yet when our kids get this sick from mold. Kim has been fighting to keep herself and her kids in a safe environment the way any of us would fight. We are in the fight of our lives literally..

Please lift Kim’s family up in prayer today. We know Kim is a fighter she has proven this time and time again, and her amazing faith in God through this battle has been an inspiration to many. She has already used a few lifelines, she knows she shouldn’t be here, but she tells me she is here for a reason. Kim we love you and as a community we are praying for healing for your family. Stay strong my friend, you are somebody special and you are an amazing mom who I know more than anything wants to heal your family. I applaud your warrior! May God protect you and build a hedge of protection around your family today. May you regain your lives so you can do a mighty work for God! You have been called for a greater purpose, and you know this. My sister, my friend, I am always here for you in any way I can be, and know you have so many praying for you. There is also an army of angels on your side as well my friend, so take heart you will rise again!!!

 

Please Watch Kim Dinehart, I AM Somebody

 

And please Donate to her Christmas Miracle Fund. Five dollars is the price of a cup of coffee and it would be great if we all could open our hearts to give that much with a message of love and hope. She is in the hospital and she has been fighting for her life, and while there she is still inspiring us with her strength and great faith. She teaches us all about love, and we are all better for knowing her.

KIMMY’S CHRISTMAS MIRACLE FUND, GIVE TO SAY I LOVE YOU

 

Max Aminian, I AM Somebody

 

 

 

 

Please watch Max Aminian’s video. He reminds me so much of my son Jared. Jared would have graduated this year as well. Jared and I were also best friends, and mold took all of that away. The last 11 months of Jared’s life were sheer hell, and this reminds me of all of that. It reminds me to keep fighting and it reminds me that we need to stand up together and share our stories. I am so insanely proud of Max for being so open about his journey. His mother is amazing as well and her video we featured a few months back. Karen you raised an amazing young man and I am sorry for the years the two of you lost in mold. We can never get those years back. I only hope that our stories can somehow rewrite the wrongs of mold and help us change the future. I am determined to rise up again, nothing can stop me, and its people like Max that help me to do that! Thank you Max, wish you could have met Jared, you guys would have gotten along well…

Cathy Dubick, I AM Somebody

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(Cathy is on the right with the white dress)

Cathy is a very special friend of mine who lives in Florida. We became close in this mold battle. She lost a sister to ovarian cancer and so we have also connected through our loss and our faith. She is an amazing woman, who is both passionate and intelligent, and that is a powerful mix. Yet more importantly she has a heart of gold…

Cathy recently found out she has the dreaded mold gene, 7-3-53. It confirmed for her why she is sick. This has caused her to be determined to find her way out of mold no matter how hard that might be. She refuses to give up the fight, because she has hopes and dreams she can’t wait to pursue! I told her we were long lost sister’s cause we share a very rare blood type, and I truly mean it, she is family! She is my sister in mold and in Christ. I am blessed to know her and we are gonna to meet up in January and take on this cause in Florida!! I love her, and am praying she can get out of mold and get her life back cause we have work to do! You hear that sister, we have to work to do, so praying for God’s healing hand to be upon you, in Jesus’s name!! He is gonna do a mighty work in you!

Lessons I Learned on Restoration Island

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Some people are just destined to do what they do. Well, my friend Ricardo Garza was destined to bringing healing to the nations. This is why he went to Medical School to become a Doctor. Tragically his studies were cut short due to mold illness and lyme. We all can find our story in his story, we all lost something. I recall my own tragedy. I was only two semesters shy of graduating with my Master’s in Mental Health when we were struck with toxic mold illness. Ironically I wanted to be a victims advocate when I graduated. Even my son died knowing what he wanted to do, Jared simply wanted to be somebody. In death and in life, he was….

This illness robs us of who were are, it robs us of our identity. Yet we still have our calling, it was placed upon us long ago, and it stands even when we cannot. Through our loss God has a way of showing us the silver lining in the clouds, and revealing His plan for our lives. I have to admit there have been days where I want to forget this battle, but it is his voice, the voice of my son, that keeps me moving forward.

Jared knew about Restoration Island and he thought one day we would all make it there. I remember him laughing in the car on the way back from California, saying “Do they know it is not a real island? Yes, it was the island that was created in our darkest hours. It was the dream that we all shared. We all pretended, yes grown adults, we pretended to be on this island. An island free of mold and free of illness. It was the greatest escape of our lives. We felt the sun rays, we heard the ocean tides go in and out and all was with our souls. For that moment none of us were living in mold, or recovering from mold. None of us were bed ridden. We were out swimming or laying by the pool with friends. We were on Restoration Island and everything was good there, everything was exactly as it should be. Except for those few folks who misbehaved and were sent to the “other” island. 😉 We were all friends, but in many ways we became more than friends we were family. Someone was always out there by the fire to talk. Someone was always there to make you laugh.

We played out our fears of a contaminated island, and how we could decontaminate new arrivals to the island. We laughed at ourselves, and the seriousness of “the mold life” faded. Suddenly we were no longer isolated from the world, we had each other. I guess tonight I realize just what Restoration Island taught me in the end. I am reminded that we need to have more island moments. We all need to stop and pause for our daily escape and our daily laugh. Even in the midst of darkness we can create happiness and joy. Some of those island folks we don’t see much of these days, and we miss them. We miss the way we used to be. Some of them healed and moved on and some have taken new paths, but I like to think each of us smiles when we remember the good old days on the island, where our troubles where swept away momentarily by the tide…

For those who are literally going on this island trip, God bless you, and may you find healing in the caribbean waters, just as we did!!! Ricky has made the island dream come true, and he was born to do this. Sure Facebook made him change his name, but all of us still know that his real name will always be “Caribbean Ricky.”

Six individuals are able to go on this trip with Ricky. They are still in need of a wheelchair and other provisions. So, Please support the dream!

https://www.gofundme.com/2t4n9r98