The Suicide Note: Leaving my Legacy

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“Leaving a legacy is about planting trees in a garden you never get to see.  Who lives who dies, who tells your story?”

My mom lives to tell my story..

The story of my leaving without saying goodbye or giving a reason she has never understood. And in life, “We push away what we can never understand, we push away the unimaginable.”

Since my death mom has lost the ability to write and even the ability to fight, she has lost too much. In an effort to tell my story she pours through every photo looking for seeds I might have planted. Her journey through my death leads to a beautiful garden, a secret garden she never dreamed she would find. Come with me through the garden. I will show you what I planted..

The first seed I planted was this tablet. I buried this seed under my mattress. It was the last thing they dug up that night. This seed was destroyed.

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Here is what they did to this seed..image002 (1)

The night of my death there is still life left on my tablet. Soon it will be as dead as I now am. They will try to blame me for the crack but their evidence proves they are dishonest. FullSizeRender (1)You can see from the photo Investigator Adrian Walls took that night that there was no crack YET_DSC0900Even, Detective Meridan does not mention a crack two days later when mom had to sign to have the tablet searched, but he would later on. On that day Meridan asked my mom, “Are you ever going to want to see the photos from your son’s death?” She said no. I am so glad she changed her mind..FullSizeRender (2)Almost a month later Investigator Carl Jones is the first person to mention a cracked screen. 
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Mom is desperate to know what was on my tablet. She sends it off to the top data recovery expert for answers. They tell her they can get data off chips over 90% of the time with the machine. They have seen them go through fire and all kinds of woes, but they have never seen something quite like this. Due to the extent of damage they can retrieve nothing. It looks like this chip went through a war. It is described as having mountains and ridges. It suffered a serious assault. But why? What is it that they are hiding. Its my words and my thoughts and the reason I took my life…image001 (1)Mom is crushed she thinks she will never have her answers until she finds this seed I left by my bed, a piece of paper. This is all the information she has on this seed. No other picture or mention of it in the report. But the entire police report fails to mention the word “suicide note.” There is no mention of whether one was found or not found.. _DSC0776Next I leave a trail of seeds behind leading to my backpack. My brother reports to police that I was “messing with it earlier.” I place it close to my body, because it is significant to me. Mom envisions me praying at the edge of my bed one last time, taking my shoes off, and carefully placing my backpack directly in her path. Whatever is in here I need her to find. But Mom is so distraught after cutting me down, she drops the scissors. And as my face hit the wall, my mom’s heart hit the floor. She fails to notice the seed I planted and how leaving it behind jeopardized me ever receiving the justice I was seeking. There are no pictures of them opening the backpack. And in the last photo when they move my body into the bodybag, my backpack is gone._DSC0774Just so you can see they do search bags…
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I didn’t trust the police. In fact just months prior I spoke about police harassing and intimidating my sick family to a panel of FL legislators. Mom was there as a mold advocate, but I was there as a human rights activist. I spoke about how our freedoms and our rights were violated, and they promised to look into it, they never did.

This only fueled the fire. My sick family just weeks before my death was offered 10,000 for our poisoning and the fraud that was committed. We owed over 50,000 for medical. There was no way out. I knew that now. My entire family was so ill, mom was forced to beg her family for help, the same family who covered up my molestation. We had hit rock bottom.

Justice became my obsession. It was 2014 and I told Mom Trump would never win, but that I wanted him to so badly. I told her “he would be great for our country because noone is in his back pocket.” Now that he is in office and speaking courageously against corruption mom feels that Trump is her platform. The only thing that I left her with before now is my YouTube video history. I must have watched 50 videos about Trump. I wanted him in because I knew he could not be bought or sold.

In my death my words must have been sold. Why would the police go to great lengths to cover all of this up? Mom only finds mention of my backpack in the Medical examiners report. Detective Meridan is reporting to the medical examiner that my brother Tyler told her he was messing with it that day. He told him more than that. He told him he believed something was in there. Meridan does not mention the backpack in his report. FullSizeRender (3)

This is where it gets really weird.. Meridan then tells the Medical Examiner two days after my death that “law enforcement was attempting to locate the backpack.” The same backpack Meridan stepped over when he viewed my body that night. That backpack did not need to be located.
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The report states there are 271 photos. Mom counts them one by one and finds only 270. She believes that only one photo is missing. It takes them 3 days to locate the missing photo. When mom gets it she is confused.

Here is the missing photo. Its called a photo form and it documents the number of photos at the scene. Notice that they don’t fill it in the number of photos taken or did they? Look closely at the last line it seems to repeat itself. Then look at the words in parenthesis and how they slant. Then take a look at how the paper is crumpled up. Ask yourself could this form be altered? Was someone going to great lengths to hide the number of photos? Is this why this photo was missing?_DSC0635

In the original CD mom was given there were 270 photos she was told in the report, this was photo #1.  What is missing is the line that say #OF PHOTOS. From the look of this I am not even aware this is a photo form._DSC0636

Mom knows the laws regarding records. She has been dealing with Collier County Code Enforcement and their corruption as it pertains to records. This is where my mom gets threatened to be criminally charged. She is calling them on their fraud. She knows that it is illegal for records to be missing or altered. It violates FL Sunshine State Laws. She learns the laws on documenting crime scenes and she realizes that this photographer will know it all. She has asked Jeremy Giddens several times to speak to this woman. He is the investigator called in by the mayor, and he has told her she can’t speak with any of the police during the investigation. But my mother has decided it is independence day and her voice will be heard even if it means her being arrested. fs-ch-3-13-728

If what I have already told you is not enough, wait there is more. All the evidence logs are not signed by the evidence custodian nor are they dated. It seems they are going to great lengths to hide my words, and my mama caught them! FullSizeRender (11)

And there is even more. Look at the death certificate no cause of death anywhere. I just found a court document it was determined 7 months after his death. I know my son died by suicide, but I have reason to believe that there was an investigation surrounding his death that I did not even know about because of what he left behind.

My first death certificate they did not state cause of death. I don’t know why they waited 7 months to write in my cause of death.
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Here is a timeline of the night my son died.

2324= 11:24 Medical examiner report has me contacting 911

2324= 11:24 Officer Torres responded to 911 call

2234=11:34 Time pronounced dead on Medical Examiner Report

2338=11:38 Adrian Walls photographer notified by dispatch.took dispatch 13 minutes to call

2340=11:40 Meridan responded as detective. 

0020=12:20 Adrian Walls arrives 55 minutes later (Meridan and Marines are at scene) Walls is the photographer and the nothing can start without her

0029=12:29 Adrian Walls starts photographing the scene one hour and four minutes later after I called police, so what happened to the scene for that hour?

0037=12:37 Photo time stamps says the 1st photo 8 minutes after Walls begins taking photos

0100=1:00 Laura Noel Osborne from medical examiner is contacted 

0107=1:07   Photo time stamp shows gap, no pictures taken for next hour and 20 minutes

****Pictures resume at 2:27 which is 19 minutes after Jared’s body was removed. Wow! 

0120=1:20 Walls is labeling pieces of noose

0147=1:47 Walls is collecting evidence, scissors, cut cable, tablet, charger

0208=2:08 Body removal

0227=2:27 Photo time stamp shows this is when photographing continues

0235=2:35 Photo time stamp shows last photo was taken 27 minutes after they removed body

0257=2:57 Walls cleared the scene 49 minutes after Body was removed

1530=3:30 Cutrona attends autopsy and takes custody of clothing

1548=3:48 Cutrona documents receipt for evidence

1550=3:50 Medical Examiner examination time for autopsy

 

Its Independence Day and I think about freedom, and I think about what is worth fighting for and what is worth dying for. What my mom never realized till now is that my plan was to take my life, but it wasn’t supposed to end there. I told my mom days before I died that I wanted to be Somebody. I would finally be heard. I had a plan. It was a great plan, but maybe too great. My words were powerful, but maybe too powerful. They were honest, but maybe too honest..

That day I went to my closet I needed to be angry. I had to be fueled with fire in my heart to get the job done. I fought with my family that day but I would explain to them later so they understood, they have not understood for almost two years until now. Justice and anger fueled me to take my life. I explained myself to them but they never got to hear my explanation. My mom pressed the police. She got angry, she yelled about my tablet. She had yet to know the rest..It wasn’t time for her to know, she wasn’t ready. To shut her down they blamed her. Saying “ma’am didn’t you have a fight with your son on the day he took his life? Let’s face it ma’am we don’t really know why your son took his life.” Mom hung up the phone and wept bitterly, like she had never wept before. Her cries reached the heavens. “Jared why!!, Jared why would you leave me like this?” She could not understand. She knew me, she knew I would never do this. She knew I loved her. I have watched my mom sink into a deep depression because of this. But today I look down and find my warrior mother fighting for me, her baby, it is what she is good at. She has gotten little sleep. She put all this together in a week’s time. Her love for me shines in all of this.

I ask for prayers for my mom. I ask for one good man or woman to come forward from the Bradenton Police and tell my mom what was on my tablet, that piece of paper, and what was inside that backpack. My mom has already written to the Bradenton Police and has forgiven anyone involved. She only wants answers and peace, and peace will come through my words….

Jared’s brain will be going to Werner Spitz a famous toxicologist so he can see if Jared like the myself and my two children have brain injury from mold. Please pray for my family. Dear Lord, protect us. Dear Friend, especially warriors I need you.. I need you badly right now. I got this up this up one 1 minute after 4th of July..

13 thoughts on “The Suicide Note: Leaving my Legacy”

    1. Michael,
      Thank you friend. Yes our Father is always working behind the scenes.. He works on our behalf. And the lesson I have learned so many times throughout my life, is that God works for us so we don’t have to….He is in control. When we don’t know what to do next or what to say, he knows and he gives us the wisdom for the journey. He never said it would be easy.. In fact we know it will not be, and we accept that, because we know that He is right there… Your faith is amazing and you are gift to Our Father. Keep spreading the light and the truth.. God bless you

  1. You have my intercession and I will rend the heavens on behalf of your family! The truth will prevail! Be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might! The Holy Spirut will guide you into all truth and as the mountains surround Jerusalem, so the Lord surrounds His people. He surrounds you with songs of deliverance and rejoices over you with singing. Nothing shall separate Jared, you, or the family from the love of God. Jer 29:11

    1. Bernadette
      Thank you for your friendship I am honored to call you friend. And yes the Holy Spirit has been with me and has gotten me through the very darkest of days, and I am eternally grateful for the love and mercy of God… Without it, I don’t know where I would be… And you are right nothing can or ever will seperate us… I have always felt God with me, and my son has never departed from me either. It is amazing how I feel his presence. I thank you for your intercession, I am blessed to have so many friends of such great faith.. God bless you friend

    1. Thank you for being a true friend through the most darkest of days. We are in this battle we call life together no matter what! And it means the world to me that you stand beside me, and may I always stand beside you.. Thank you for always being there. In the end of days when all is said and done, God will reward you greatly for listening to my many tears… I know He will!! Love you like a sister, God bless you friend

  2. My friend, I too will Warrior on behalf of Jared, you and all others touched by this. God is the God of TRUTH and right now I am praying with Jesus, for it is written that He sits at the right hand of God interceding in prayer on our behalf!!!…and we are praying that the truth be revealed in what happened in Jared’s life, death and what he left behind. Holy Spirit convict those who need to come forward with truth! Protect and place your favor upon Kelli. Bless her and her children for you are the God of HEALING! Mold has more than touched their lives and their bodies BUT their bodies are a living sacrifice and a temple to Your Holy Spirit. Their bodies belong to you and though they have been touched with sickness that sickness cannot stay! Come out! Come out! Come out! In the name of Jesus!!! God prevails! Truth will be known!

    1. Charlene
      Thank you for being a warrior! I know we share the same Love for Warrior by Graham Cooke, you are truly the only one who loves that video as deeply as I do… I have heard it a multitude of times and it never grows old. I hear my Father speaking to me, with love and confidence and I am lifted up to a warrior status, even in my broken state. I appreciate your friendship and your steadfast faith that you always display.. God bless you friend..

  3. Damn.

    That was hard to stomach. I didn’t expect some of those pics. Caught me off guard.

    Crooked. Crooked. Crooked. Something shady going on.

    May all that is hidden, be revealed.

    1. Ricky,
      Thank you this has knocked the wind out of me.. Truly, truly.. I know you understand the feeling. Life is full of challenges, but God is always there doing a work in us and through us and thank you for responding to this, I appreciate it.. And yes everyday I pray that is hidden, all the deeds of men that are done in the dark, may God in all his glory bring them into the light..
      I have been absent for a time as my heart is deeply wounded… The wounds have been reopened. God is our healer and oh how we need Him right now.. God bless you..

  4. God bless you Kelli.. Much love your you, and your always in my prayers.. I wish I had the words, to make it all better for you and your family..

    1. Thank you Gina my friend.. I pray for God to give me strength everyday, I know you know the battles we face can be brutal, you have had your fair share, and so you can truly understand. Let us pray for each other, as we walk through the battlefields of life.. God bless you

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