My Toxic Mold Illness Diary: February 1

This morning is a rough one and I’m feeling very down. My body is in wicked shape today, and my resolve to tell my story is not what it was. I’m supposed to be healing and I’m sort of getting my ass kicked all over the place.

I’m just a person who has been sick pretty much my whole life and after having found a diagnosis, decided to share what I was told. I thought it might help. I was thinking specifically of the women who are more like me than not like me. I was thinking that if they were feeling, as I was, that my life was ending, I would be wrong not to give them the information I had and let them decide whether it made sense for their situation.

Since that time I’ve received many hundreds of emails, comments and messages. Almost all have been kind, and when I read the stories people are sharing with me, my heart breaks. So many are suffering and feeling so discouraged.

constantexchange

But, there are definitely haters who have set their sites on me and want me to know what a piece of shit I am. You have no idea how bad it can be. This morning, unfortunately, I read a message from a woman who swore at me and called me names and was just as cruel as she could be. How dare I make myself some kind of fucking expert just to get 15 minutes of fame?

I sat here staring at her vitriol and I asked myself why in the hell I would open myself up like this knowing that people like this are in the world and they are happy to use me as a punching bag.

Why are people so angry at me? Is it because I wouldn’t accept the diagnosis of Fibromyalgia as right for me? Why is that so upsetting? I’ve said repeatedly that if the diagnosis of Fibro makes sense for you, I have nothing bad to say. I wish you health above all else and if you are correctly diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and are being helped by your docs and your treatment, then who am I to pass any judgement? I would never presume to tell you that what you know about yourself isn’t true.

No matter WHAT NAME you give the illness from which so many of us suffer, it is real. We’re not crazy. We are suffering in great numbers and the truth is we are largely being dismissed.

And, then there are the people who are angry at me because I posted information about Dr. Shoemaker and his, shall we say, troubling past. They are facts, not stories. As I wrote in my post about him, he may very well have been a pioneer in the field of mold and the way it affects our health. That doesn’t mean we can responsibly ignore information about him that potential new patients should have in order to make a decision that’s right for their situation.

So, yeah. Lots of people hate me this morning and want me to go straight to hell.

When the post went viral, a sweet person contacted me and warned me that the more I spoke about these things, the more I would be attacked. They encouraged me by pointing me to Brene Brown and Why Your Critics Aren’t the Ones Who Count.

So, yeah. I’m sad. I’m hurt. I’m tired. I’m a little scared. But, for not at least, I’m going to keep going. I’m going to keep talking about what is happening to me and hope that the number of people who are helped in any small way outweigh the number of people who think I’m a terrible person.

I guess we’ll see how long I can keep it up.

xo,

Sher

20 thoughts on “My Toxic Mold Illness Diary: February 1”

  1. Sherri. I’m so sorry that there are really mean idiots out there who are too stupid to see or understand the unbelievable amount of good you’ve done for so, so many of us. Please don’t let her or any others stop what you’re doing. We have needed someone like you for so long, and we still desperately need your help now. The information you’ve given us is priceless. But even that pales compared to your ability to tell our story with words that others seem to finally begin to understand. In 15 years, I couldn’t. Thank you.

    1. You are sweet to say that, Linda. I’m only into my treatment less than two months, so I’m learning myself about what is wrong with me. I sure don’t have the answers… but, I do have lots of questions for which I’m trying to find answers. Thank you for being here and my hope is you’ll find wellness soon. xo

  2. My cousin sent me your blog on fb. After reading and following you, I have determined that it is worth it to me to look into this mold thing. When I was a kid we didn’t have much. We put a new roof on our house ourselves, my uncle accidentally dropped a board off the roof and through our living room window. We never had the money to get it fixed. The mold grew and grew along the entire wall on that side of the house. I started getting random symptoms as a teenager. Then at 26 I had my first major “flare” went to the hospital. Been tested for everything under the sun. I have a family history of fibro, so the dr concluded that is what I have. I’m only 28, in so much pain every day. I noticed that every dr and dr appt I go to they say I have an infection of some sort or a high white blood count. Looking through the list of symptoms you provided I felt a sense of relief. A sense of hope really. I’m getting a new dr on the 17 and I cannot wait to ask him to test me. Whether I have mold poisoning or not, YOU have opened my eyes to other options and I am grateful to you for that. Please don’t stop your mission. Let the haters hate. They have nothing better to do!!! You may be saving and changing the lives of so many. Please continue to tell your story. Thank you so much!!!!

    1. Thank you, Charli. I received a note from someone today whose Fibro diagnosis turned out to be in fact a parasite. She reports she is feeling great now after her treatment. I think that goes to show that we can all have any number of things that cause these similar symptoms. Keep pushing until you find a way to feel better. xo

  3. I am so sorry you have been victimized by critics. Know that God will bless you and just knowing there are lots of other people out there with this bizarre set of symptoms is a relief!

  4. Sher,
    I cannot recall how I found your Facebook page. (Fibro fog? lol)
    Please do not let mean spirited, hateful people bring you down. Isn’t it enough that we beat ourselves up with guilt and self loathing, a feeling of pure worthlessness? Why let some random stranger fuck with your feelings too?
    I thank you for putting yourself in the line of fire for all of us, regardless of which “fake” illness we suffer with.
    Hold your head up high. I would venture to guess you’ve got more fans than foes.
    Xo

  5. Sher,
    No matter what anyone thinks, you have already helped so many people just by raising awareness. I got toxic mold illness this year by botched remediation so I know exactly what happened. Many are sick for years with no clue why. You’ve made at least 3 000 more people aware of how serious this issue is. That’s just on facebook.
    If you knew for a fact that one parent whose child is showing these symptoms and has that child tested and repairs the home or removes child from the home, would all the negativity be worth it? If one person with fibromyalgia finds out its really toxic mold poisoning, and can be a parent, a sibling, a person living a happy life again, would it be worth it?

    I lost part of my family because they refused to believe in our illness although we have many tests proving them. Protecting my child is worth any trouble, name calling, back stabbing or anything anyone can do to me.

    Dr Shoemaker has been the main physician to devote his life to trying to cure this ailment and he’s had many troubles along the way. The first 100 cancer or aids cures didn’t work either and sometimes still don’t. But at least the government and public are funding studies for help.

    There’s not many out there trying to help us. Whether anyone agrees or disagrees with any Dr’s treatment, please don’t shy away from this issue.
    At the end of the day, you have to think about yourself and what you believe. Don’t be bullied!

    1. Thank you, Sandy. I’m so sorry you’ve had to deal with this in your family as well. I appreciate the encouragement. xo

  6. Standing in the corner with you, girl! No one knows the frustration and fatigue and despair unless they’ve been there. And if they DO know–they are standing with you. I have stopped trying to explain–it just wore me out even more. Either they loved me and accepted me as I was or they were free to move along :). It is IMPOSSIBLE to explain to someone who is not affected with these types of disorders. So form here in Salem OR thank you sooo much for your help and support and info! Now, I’m gonna pray that God will strengthen and bring peace to your body especially during this time <3 <3 <3

  7. Sher…you are a warrior, and have helped so many already. Just reading your initial blog was incredible. My daughter already went to her doctor, armed with the information you provided, and he told her it was ridiculous, and he’s never heard of the test. It is so disheartening to deal with close minded people. I’m so sorry you are being attacked by ignorant fools. Please keep posting your story. You have given my daughter hope where she had none before. I wish you health, and will keep you in my prayers.

    1. Patti, I’m so sorry to hear your daughter is sick. Please tell her for me that she cannot give up. She just can’t. Give a call to RealTime Lab and Kirty will get you a list of docs. Also, join our Facebook group and ask folks there for a doc they’d recommend in your area. They are super helpful.

  8. No one who has followed the career of Dr. Shoemaker, for as many years as I have, could ever be angry at you. He was the first person to spread word of the harmful effects of toxic mold to the public, and you are the second person to spread the word. My father died from toxic mold exposure on October 11, 2008. If your writings had been available at that time, he might still be alive today. I am certain that your writings will save many lives. Myself, and all the “Shoemaker people” are your greatest fans. We all love you.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *